Ok, first off, how is it possible for me to follow my own blog. Yeah people, check it out, I'm following myself. I know certain people that would be convinced that I am a total narcissist. I really don't know how that works, but whatev.
Anyways, this one comes from Arizona. I've been calling this place home for the last two and a half years but for some reason it was the last place I've been to since I got home. I've been to every other option for home, but now I finally feel like I'm home again. It's a great feeling.
I have so many ideas for what I want to do while I'm here yet at the exact same time it's so overwhelming to be here that I can't think of what to do. Driving here was the biggest trip down memory lane that I've ever taken...and that's saying something when you consider how nostalgic I can be. I owe more to this place and the people in it than I can really describe.
I don't think I was a bad kid growing up. Yet I'll be the first to admit that, at age 15, things were far from ideal at home. Not to get into any details, but life wasn't peachy.
Then one day my Mom gets a package from my aunt (who is a saint, by the way) with an invitation from the blue for me to come live with them. To this day I don't really know what inspired them to make that move. It can't have been an easy one, and knowing them, it had to be premeditated and well thought over. But invite me they did. They talked to my mom first, she prayed about it and it felt right, and then that package of information was given to me along with a huge decision to make.
It didn't take long for me to decide that I should go to Arizona. For some reason it just made a lot of sense to me and I never really worried about it. So go I did. I left home on August 6th, 2005 at age 16. I remember thinking it was the most awesome thing in the world, right up until the week before I left. Then I was terrified. I was actually going to leave my best friends of my life to that point, live somewhere I had never been, with people I loved but didn't really know that well, lose my job, and basically start all over again. But the arrangements had been made and off I went.
I remember the first two months being really hard. I didn't have friends and I wasn't socially deft at all. In fact, I was a nerd trying to prove to Arizona how cool Utah kids were. Turns out they were far from impressed. I'd say it took me about a semester of high school before I finally figured out that I wasn't really that cool and needed to chill. Then things started to get better.
I started doing things that I wouldn't have imagined happening. For example, when I was a sophomore I swore on my life that I would never join those nerdy band kids. One year later I found myself on the percussion group, and wound up dedicating the next year of my life to it. I became the church ball captain, found clubs to join, got called to leadership positions, and got accepted to college. Eventually I found that I had a life down here.
As time went on, I grew to love this place. I had to adjust to the heat, the people, living with all girls, and everything in between. Yet I learned to love it, and then I became a part of it. I usually have a hard time putting 2 and 2 together, but I was smart enough to realize that I was happy and I was slowly becoming a better person. People surrounding me helped me out, and I eventually became much of who I am today.
It wasn't all fun and games though. I recall vividly spending nights in bed crying my eyes out because I thought that nobody in this world could help me out. I had to figure out who I was, and I think we all know what a joy that can be. But it came eventually, not at once and certainly not while I was in high school, but it's come around.
By the time graduation came around, I had everything that I left in Utah. I had a family, friends, memories, a job and an awesome boss, and most of all I was happy. But it was a different kind of happiness. I was happy with myself. I was happy with what I was doing and where I was going.
Yet all things come to an end and I had to go back to Utah to live with Mom and the immediate family once again. It was so hard leaving. There have only been two times where I felt like I had left part of myself behind somewhere, and that was one of them. But I took what I could with me and made the most of it.
I came back for a month before my mission. It was a great experience. More lessons were learned and I was better prepared for the next two years. Unfortunately it's taken me 30 long months to finally make it back here. But I owe more to this place and everything in it then I can really describe.
And now coming back...well, I can't really describe it. I just couldn't speak for a long time. It's so good to be back. I want to see old friends and things while I'm here, but I hope mostly to be able to show the people here who changed my life that they did a good job. I owe who I am to them. Especially the inspired aunt and uncle who, for some weird reason, invited the socially awkward Sam Emery to live with them and somehow were able to put up with me for two years.
I'm just so glad to be home again.
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